


inspiration zone

by rhysenne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Drabble Collection, F/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28235124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysenne/pseuds/rhysenne
Summary: short prompts/drabbles for the tomione discord server. so far they're all weird crack. i'm sorry. (not rly)
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Kudos: 7





	1. graduation

After all the Petrifications occurring throughout the year, it was only a matter of time. The announcement of Myrtle Elizabeth Warren's tragic death shocked none of the students--except for one.

_I'll kill the fucking bastard_ , Hermione seethed.

And there he was, leaning with his back against the wall, with that insufferable smirk plastered on his face, not a care in the world. She took a deep breath.

"What. In. Merlin's. Name. Were. You. THINKING?"

"I was careful!"

""Careful"? You promised, you promised to refrain from murder until after graduation!"

"She knew it was me!" he protested.

"She saw me talking to the basilisk in the girl's bathroom -"

' _Girls' bathroom_ ', Hermione thought dully. ' _The entrance to the Chamber was in the_ -'

"Wait a moment."

"... You've been going to the **GIRL'S BATHROOM** this whole time?"


	2. soap

Tom sighed as he strode into the shower, removing his bloodstained robes with difficulty. Ugh. Contrary to popular belief, Tom didn’t enjoy having blood on his clothes. He loved the sight of it (on his enemies), certainly, but when it got onto his robes (made with the finest acromantula silk, of course, with the tailor under a death threat), it was inconvenient and disgusting and needed to be removed immediately. Just like his enemies.

  
He flicked his wrist, letting the shower run. Tom looked at his hands and winced. He’d accidentally touched a mudblood during the battle. He’d need soap to thoroughly clean them out.

  
He glanced up. He stopped. There was no soap. He frowned. _Accio soap._ No answer.

  
_Figures,_ he thought angrily. Of course Hermione would have used up the soap. Right before he needed it.

Scourgify simply did not have the same effect as a good old bar of Lavender’s Finest Wizarding Soap.

“Hermione?” he yelled. “Hermione!”

He went into her room (without knocking, of course).

She turned and looked at him. She had half a bar of soap in her mouth. He watched as she chewed, slowly, methodically, then swallowed. “Yes?”

Tom stared and stared and stared. For once, he was at a loss for words. She tilted her head, brown eyes meeting red. “Oh, I thought you knew. The potion needed me to wash my mouth out with soap before it could take effect." She frowned. "You know - that dark magic potion _you_ told me to brew two days ago?”


End file.
